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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?